What is hopefully my last pre-test freakout.

Posted Sun Oct 07, 2007, 16:54 PM by Tracy

I usually don’t train on Sundays, but this morning I went to the school where we’re doing the test to train with some of the guys there. I did not want to go. I really did not want to go. But I wanted a refresher of what it’s like to work out with the guys.

We practiced continuous multi-person attacks for ten minutes at a time. Usually I feel better once I’m fighting, but not this morning. Even as I was moving from one attacker to another, evading and blocking, striking and kicking, I wasn’t feeling at all confident. I was dreading picking up the speed and intensity.

Before it got to that point, I bowed off the floor and came home. I took a hot bath. I laid on the bed and cried. I so do not want to do this test. Not now, not ever. I just don’t feel ready.

After awhile I called my buddy Jason. He reminded me that today was not my day to test. That kind of training may not have been what I needed to do today. He suggested maybe I should be relaxing, instead. Don’t think about martial arts. Read a book instead.

I feel much better now. I remind myself that the test is not all continuous fighting, it’s not all fast speed. I just have to be the best me I can be.


Seek & Find


Chattering Magpie home

Kung Fu Diary home

Search all Magpie

More Magpie

Chattering Magpie blog

Magpie Knits

Magpie Writes

Photo Gallery

Sections and pages still in the "old" look, still accessible:

Related links


About Mo Duk Pai

Mo Duk Pai kung fu is a modern American eclectic system of martial arts, combining hard- and soft-style techniques Mo Duk Pai, which translates to “Martial Ethical Way”, was founded by Professor Frederick D. King. For more information, to see photos or inquire about training, visit the Mo Duk Pai web site, which I also maintain. I have been training since 1996 and currently hold the rank of brown-black sash.


Sifu (pr. see-foo [Cantonese] or shur-foo [Mandarin]) is a Chinese term for Teacher. It also carries the connotation of Father (teacher-father), referring to a tradition of teaching martial arts within the family, as well as being a title of respect. In America the title sifu is given to both men and women. In Mo Duk Pai the title is awarded to 2nd degree black belts at their teacher’s discretion.


Qigong (pr. chee-gung) is the practice of Chinese exercises incorporating movement and posture, breathing and visualization. Qigong exercises focus on maintaining health by energizing and balancing one’s qi, or energy.