High anxiety.

Posted Sat Sep 15, 2007, 20:36 PM by Tracy

As long as I’m doing something physical, sparring or forms, practicing basics or just riding my bike, I’m fine. When I’m not, I have panic attacks.

It’s completely irrational. I know I can do the black belt test. Yeah it’s demanding, yeah parts of it will suck, but parts of it will be fun, too. I’ll get to show off what I can do. I’m feeling pretty good about my cardio-vascular, thanks to bike commuting.

I’m really hoping this anxiety thing passes. I’m counting on it being temporary. E reminds me that once I start the test I’ll be fine.

It’s just that right now I don’t have confidence in myself that I will pass the test.

I should count myself lucky. Other people going up for testing are having problems with backs, knees, hips, ankles, and necks. All I’ve got are mental problems.


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About Mo Duk Pai

Mo Duk Pai kung fu is a modern American eclectic system of martial arts, combining hard- and soft-style techniques Mo Duk Pai, which translates to “Martial Ethical Way”, was founded by Professor Frederick D. King. For more information, to see photos or inquire about training, visit the Mo Duk Pai web site, which I also maintain. I have been training since 1996 and currently hold the rank of brown-black sash.


Sifu (pr. see-foo [Cantonese] or shur-foo [Mandarin]) is a Chinese term for Teacher. It also carries the connotation of Father (teacher-father), referring to a tradition of teaching martial arts within the family, as well as being a title of respect. In America the title sifu is given to both men and women. In Mo Duk Pai the title is awarded to 2nd degree black belts at their teacher’s discretion.


Qigong (pr. chee-gung) is the practice of Chinese exercises incorporating movement and posture, breathing and visualization. Qigong exercises focus on maintaining health by energizing and balancing one’s qi, or energy.