As long as I’m doing something physical, sparring or forms, practicing basics or just riding my bike, I’m fine. When I’m not, I have panic attacks.
It’s completely irrational. I know I can do the black belt test. Yeah it’s demanding, yeah parts of it will suck, but parts of it will be fun, too. I’ll get to show off what I can do. I’m feeling pretty good about my cardio-vascular, thanks to bike commuting.
I’m really hoping this anxiety thing passes. I’m counting on it being temporary. E reminds me that once I start the test I’ll be fine.
It’s just that right now I don’t have confidence in myself that I will pass the test.
I should count myself lucky. Other people going up for testing are having problems with backs, knees, hips, ankles, and necks. All I’ve got are mental problems.