Surprise, surprise.

Posted Sun Apr 08, 2007, 06:29 AM by Tracy | |

The other day E comes home from work and says

Guess who I saw today? Your mother and your brother.

Jim had brought Mom to the hospital where E works, for blood tests. Good for him, helping his mother.

I really don’t know what’s going on with Mom these days, except that she’s still mad at me. She blames me (and the adult foster care people) for her recent upheaval that had her bouncing back and forth from rehab to foster care to hospital to rehab.

She was only back into the adult foster care for a week, following her discharge from rehab after her hospitalization at the end of last year. The rehab hadn’t properly monitored her medications, so she was over-medicated in a way that was seriously endangering her health.

The foster care people had no choice but to send her to the hospital, where the problem was corrected. But that did mean another several days stay followed by yet another month in rehab. She has yet (as far as I know) to regain the level of function she enjoyed before her seizure.

When we visited Mom at the rehab, she just kept trying to pick fights with us. When we walked out she yelled for me to never come back.

Fine, whatever. I brought her mail that had come to my house, but I didn’t stay to visit. Then I called the companies sending mail to give them her address.

It must be nice to have no doubts, to have complete faith in one’s own memory and perceptions. If my description of an event differs from Mom’s memory, she accuses me of lying. It doesn’t occur to her that she might not be remembering correctly. I’d attribute her inability to admit that she might be wrong to the mild dementia, but she’s always been like this. She can’t even begin to accept that I would know something that she doesn’t. As her daughter, clearly my experience and knowledge cannot exist outside hers.

Now Mom is moved into Assisted Living, following her discharge from rehab. She didn’t tell me this herself, I found out by other people calling me. I don’t know whether she expected anyone else to tell me or what. But clearly she is capable of informing people of her whereabouts and if she choses to not let me know that she has moved, then so be it.

We’ll just see how this plays out. In the meantime, if she needs help with anything, she’ll have to get it from Jim.


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