E made an interesting observation yesterday, as we were raking leaves at his parent’s house. There was quite an accumulation. We wanted to get it cleared out before the next anticipated big blowdown.
E’s brother, E noted, does things with the parents. E himself does things for the parents. I pointed out that we do things with the parents, too. We do both.
That’s a distinction between my own brother and myself and how we relate to my mother. I do things for our mother. Jim does things with mom.
Mom doesn’t like people doing things for her. I think she resents the implication that she can’t do for herself. She certainly doesn’t accept help gracefully.