Confession of control freak.

Posted Mon Nov 06, 2006, 13:11 PM by Tracy | |

Mom is absolutely livid with anger right now. It’s almost funny to watch, her face twisting with impotent ire. Almost funny but for the tight little twist in my own stomach, the frustration in E’s eyes.

Over a year ago Mom insisted she was able to take care of her own bills and I should stop paying them. I did, for awhile. The bills didn’t get paid. Imagine that.

I wasn’t much worried about the nursing home bill though it was the largest. They could talk to her directly about paying, which they did after she was delinquent 5 months and they had to call me to ask. She’s been managing that bill on her own now, sometimes getting a month behind but always paying up.

But the prescription drug bill I was concerned about. I didn’t want to take the chance that the pharmacy would stop fillling her prescriptions. So when I saw a few months worth of bills pile up, I quietly took those bills back and took care of them, having them paid out of her bank account.

I also paid a few other small medical bills she neglected.

All this time Mom has been getting her bank statements, but it’s taken her a year to actually pay attention to them to notice that her pharmacy bill was getting paid. By me.

Now she’s furious because I didn’t do what she asked me to, which I did then didn’t because she couldn’t or wouldn’t. She denies that she didn’t pay her bills or got behind. She claims I didn’t bring her the bills that I did. That she didn’t open.

Mom accuses both E and me of lying when we say something she doesn’t want to hear.

What possible reason could we have for lying, I asked.

Because you’re a control freak, Mom replied. You have tried to control me.

She doesn’t understand that I’d much rather not have to deal with all her crap. Less work for me. I control what I can out of expediency, to save myself trouble in the long run.

I knew this would come up eventually. I also knew she get really nasty about it, which is a serious disincentive. E has said all along this is a lose-lose situation.

She was much nicer when she was sick.


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